Does a parent really have a choice? Parents often feel cornered into an unhealthy dynamic with their child in their efforts to be supportive and present. Unfortunately, homework becomes a family drama and a difficult hurdle night after night. Here are some practical approaches on how to handle the homework problem.
Homework is often a dreaded word not only because it requires your son or daughter to give up hours of time earmarked for recreation, adventure or video gaming but because it will involve you, parent as police officer. While some parents manage this task quite well and can be commended for their teaching skills, their patience and their devotion, many others are overwhelmed by the ongoing task of keeping their child compliant and unknowingly begin a stressful dynamic that neither the parent nor the child enjoys. Homework becomes a job.
To free yourself from your child’s homework and to make your child the best student he can be, it is important to recognize that the dependency starts early. What may appear as your genuine support and your sincere efforts to help strengthen your child’s time management skills is in fact subtle confirmation that your child can not do it alone or at least not without tremendous prodding, reminding, begging, yelling, screaming or threatening from you. The irony about the parent as “homework supporter” is that the support often makes both feel antagonized.
It starts in kindergarten. Teachers and school officials may even send notices home instructing you to help your child complete his or her homework. The likely impulse from any concerned parent who wants to keep his child intellectually stimulated and at the head of the class is to help. Parents often construe these instructions from school administrators, who are trying to manage hundreds if not thousands of children, as the best advice for your individual child. But for some children it does not work. If your child is not a special needs student but is showing signs of disinterest, strong dislike or frustration about school or homework, it’s time to try a different approach. The more input the student receives from elders, both in and outside of the classroom, the less in command of the material your child may be willing to become. Many students and developing minds need space. Allow your child to have some room.
Teachers are open to parents who question the conventional attitudes towards homework. Should the parent really be involved? Isn’t homework between the student and the teacher? Shouldn’t the student have grasped in the classroom all the concepts needed to complete the homework? Having an open discussion with your child’s teachers about homework can help you establish a better game plan.
You can notify your teacher that she should grade your child accordingly based on the homework he turns in without your guidance or execution. It is not about your lack of care. It is about you and your child, and the healthy routine you wish to establish and the independence you care to nurture. If your student excels, it’s about him and his efforts alone. If he lags behind, it’s about him and not about his resentment or rebellion towards you.
If your child is being assigned homework in kindergarten, you can start the practice of not doing your child’s homework. Encourage your child by letting him know that you are interested in seeing his workbooks. If he offers you a homework sheet, review it but don’t do it. The younger the child, the more readily he will understand and accept that you will not be there to walk him through homework each night. If he panics, tell him not to worry. What is the worst thing that will happen if your child does not complete his kindergarten homework? Or his fifth grade homework?
He will soon understand that it behooves him to practice. He will soon appreciate that he can master the material on his own. He will soon understand that home exercises can reinforce what he is learning in the classroom. He will respect you for allowing him to have full control over his chief responsibilities. By honoring his choices, plenty of which will be mistaken, and by being sympathetic to the manner in which he is learning how to manage his busy day, you will allow him to grow and you will reap the rewards of a motivated child who thrives, loves learning, and enjoys school.
on October 21, 2009 · in topics Parenting
written by J. A. Young
You don’t have to visit Paris, London, or even New York to become culturally sophisticated and sensitive to global matters. Raising children today still involves soccer, baseball, ballet, and similar pursuits, but introducing culturally significant resources to your child from an early age on can give them a worldly perspective that is important in today’s world. The following article explores ways to incorporate various kinds of culturally relevant resources and activities into your child’s life.
Sometimes parents forget that they have a passport to other cultures via their library card. Public libraries contain a wealth of resources that support education at all age levels. Encouraging your child to make their own selections is important, but it’s also important to choose a book or two you can share together. One week you might read about Chinese New Year and the next you might read about the canals of Venice. Library books can allow you to visit and obtain knowledge about places throughout the world without have to get on a plane. The best part—library cards are essentially free (after you pay taxes).
Film is another great way to see the world. Cartoons and most animated movies are fun for kids, but incorporating some educational films is essential for raising a globally-savvy child. Watch films that are set in other countries. These convey the reality of other places by way of an interesting storyline. Older children may certainly enjoy travel documentaries of places and people around the world. There is a large body of award-winning films that showcase life in other nations and throughout history. Start with Rabbit-Proof Fence and Going to School in India and have discussions afterward. Pair an ethnic meal that corresponds with your selected film.
It might be fun to invite your child’s friends over for cultural movies and meals. Pair a film about China’s Forbidden City with a trip to Chinatown or some Chinese take-out. Watch Hope and Glory, a film about growing up in London during the bombings of WWII and enjoy it with fish and chips. There are lots of fun ways enjoy educational films. Pairing a meal with it shows children that this is important enough to become an evening’s event.
Cultural education can also be paired with activity. For example, reading about the life of Mexican artist Frieda Kahlo could precede an art session. If you live near a city, take time to visit museums, art galleries, or historical societies. Schools usually take field trips merely a couple times a year so it is important for parents to take their children to places that support learning. If the theatre is too expensive, be sure to see plays put on at the local high school.
Encourage your kids to use the internet to learn about their world. Sites like globalschoolnet.org can help kids from around the world to link up. But there are endless possibilities for engaging in global awareness on the internet. Kids can find pen pals or simply research their own interests. Work with your child to ensure online safety and search on your own for globally relevant sites.
In today’s economic climate it is not always easy to take time for travel. But it is worthwhile to visit the world through the discussed resources. Libraries, theaters, museums—even the internet are ideal places for kids to see the larger world around them in terms of cultural contributions. Children are natural learners and parents are the most influential of teachers. You can incorporate cultural education into your child’s life in a way that is enjoyable for them and for you.
on October 16, 2009 · in topics Parenting
written by Antonia Anderson
Did your ex just break up with you? Even if you’re not the world’s most voracious reader, you may suddenly find yourself browsing bookstores and libraries for books on relationships. Relationship advice is a top-selling niche for marketers, so you’ll quickly notice that there are dozens of books on relationships on relationships on the shelves. If you browse an online bookstore, you’ll find hundreds!
So how do you choose the best book on relationships from the plethora of choices…each one claiming to have the final answers?
First, don’t be impressed by the number of degrees and author claims to have. A degree is not necessarily evidence of expert knowledge. All it tells you is that the author went to school for a number of years. It doesn’t tell you whether or not the author’s advice will be effective in the real world.
Instead, look for books on relationships by authors who are speaking from personal experience. Either they’ve patched up a bad relationship of their own, or they have a track record of helping others solve their relationship problems.
Next, glance through the table of contents to get an idea of the main message. Many smooth-talking authors are making big bucks off of the trite message, “put the relationship aside and work on yourself.” While helpful in some cases, you really don’t need to read an entire book about this simple concept. Yet, this is what many “save your relationship” or “get your ex back” books boil down to. These overworked pieces of insubstantial fluff aren’t worth your attention or your money.
So what are you looking for? You’re looking for a book that will give you completely original information, a book that will provide you with practical, concrete answers in the same way that a carpenter’s guide provides a practical solution to a problem.
For instance, does the book offer a step-by-step guide for how to figure out exactly what your partner wants and how to give it to him or her? Does the book explain precisely how to make a plan of action and stick to a timeline? Does the book give you specific techniques to relieve your emotional pain, rather than just throwing empty words at you?
Before you head to the cash register or click on the “buy” button, take a glance at the book’s recommendations. You should be able to spot generic or faked testimonials with a little practice. Keep in mind that the more diverse the people who recommend the book are, the more likely it is that the book’s methods will work for you. Relationships are common to all human beings, but some books are geared towards people in only specific walks of life. If it an ex-nun from Cambodia, a married man from Switzerland and a high school graduate from Oklahoma are all recommending the book, it’s a safe bet that the techniques will resonate with you too.
With all the shallow drivel about relationships that’s being written these days and marketed as best-sellers, finding a book on relationship that will genuinely help you can take a little research. But if your relationship is worth working on, it’s worth finding the best book out there.
on October 2, 2009 · in topics Dating
